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So what I ended up doing was starting all the way up north in Fortaleza and in a month’s time worked my way down to Rio (traveling around 1,700 miles by bus). Fortaleza: A large, plain city with several decent beaches to choose from.

If you’re on a budget then head to the sketchy Praia de Iracema beach, which has rooms starting at 55 R$ (divide numbers in Brazilian by the exchange rate, which as of this writing is around 1.72).

To give you an idea of how bad it is, at the hostel the clerk gave me a map and marked half of it as areas that I shouldn’t go to, leaving just a few square blocks that I could explore without surely getting robbed.

If you insist on staying here for more than a minute, lodge in Barra instead.

This was the first city I visited after Rio, so the downgrade in attractiveness was shocking and took a bit away from the Brazilian woman mystique.

If you have more money to spend then head to upmarket Praia do Futuro a couple miles away.

The latter allows you to bring guests back at no extra charge, but beware of the bar—all the girls that hang out there are professionals. It’s literally one big favela that is not worth more than two hours of your time.

Leave your bags at the bus station, visit the historic center, and then get the hell out of town to a place that’s not so dirty or dangerous. It’s the only city in Brazil where I didn’t feel safe walking around during the day.

I stayed in the modern Pousada Rivas for 50 R$ a night.

It came with a ceiling fan but if you pay a bit more you can get air conditioning.

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